Friday, December 9, 2011

A Crisp Frosty Day, A Pile of Dry Leaves and the Promise of Hot Tea and a Biscuit

A Flat Out Run
with the 
Bike Tow Leash
and a very
Bundled Up Chauffeur

by the Lady McKenzie

Oh my!  I so enjoyed talking with you last week that I asked permission from the Duchess of Hagg if I could do it again.  And yes!  She agreed!  I'm so happy and overwhelmed and excited to be able to tell you about the wonderful day me and me'brother, the Lord Malcolm had yesterday.

Every few days in winter, when the weather is yet crisp but the sun is shining and the wind conditions are just so, Nessie the Monster, Duchess of Hagg decrees that the Royal Chauffeur bundle herself up and take Lord Malcolm and me'self on a wild ride through the streets of Hagg to check on the status of the commoners living on the properties, and to ensure that they are all conducting themselves in a manner well pleasing to the Household of Hagg.  Normally, we would stop and collect taxes along the way, but because the Christmas Season is for Charitable Giving, the taxes are forgiven at this time of year.

Mike Leon's great invention is simple to attach with no tools

Because we don't have to stop, and because the Royal Hiney does not participate Herself, Lord Malcolm and me'self take advantage of the poor chauffeur.  If the Duchess were following along, you know it would be a much more slow and regal occasion.  But, since she is not there, well. (he he)  WE RUN!  That silly woman we have as a chauffeur cannot get her leg over the bike and her buttocks  on the seat before we are all ready speeding around the first corner!

This is Malcolm running 'round a campsite in New Mexico.  Show off!
Ahh!  There is nothing so good as the smell of wood fires wafting through the crisp air, the sound of rustling leaves as you plough through the damp piles and the cold crisp wind catching your jowls as you tear through neighbourhood after neighbourhood. Running and running, faster and faster. Uphill, downhill;  speeding 'round corners and slowing up only for stop signs.  (It seems we must set a good example for the general public and watch the rules of the road, even though we made the rules and they are ours to break).

I will admit that at first I was afraid of the bicycle and the Bike Tow LeashIt made sounds I didn't understand and I didn't know that it was meant for my enjoyment.  But when I learned what a great device it was, well, I just couldn't get enough!

The Royal Chauffeur does take precautions in extreme cold and extreme heat while we run. She always brings water and a chamber pot (we rarely use these things, but they are there if we need them)and she always smears our feet with a product called Musher's SecretThis is to ensure that our beautiful feet are kept from getting cut or injured in any way. Both me'brother, Lord Malcolm, and me'self love the leash attachmentbecause it allows us to manoeuvre 'round obstacles quite easily and the best part is ..... we can RUN, RUN, RUN to our heart's desire. 

Lord Malcolm.  Getting Praise, of course!  Humph!

Why are all the pictures of me'rotten brother!
Really, the product is worth all the hype I'm giving it because of the safety value. Not just for us Royals but for our Chauffeur as well. She has never had an accident while driving us around no matter how hard Lord Malcolm pulls her.  Oh, my!  But he is a boisterous soul! So in the end, I would just like to say that this leashis a wonderful invention and we, as Royal Celebrities are very fortunate to live in such a manner as to have this wonderful deviceAnd indeed, it does serve a dual purpose.  It allows us great pleasure and fun -- and really! Isn't that all that life is about?  But in case you want more;  it de-pleats our energy level so much that we spend the rest of the day (and sometimes two) lounging and sleeping (and of course, and especially in Malcolm's case) eating.  If you need proof of that, just look at the picture at the top of this blog!

Well, that is all I wanted to tell you other than we had a wonderful time running through the fallen leaves and racing 'round the countryside.  It was good to get back to the Palace and take a cup of tea and biscuits with me'Lady, the Duchess of Hagg in the House of Hagg Pub (the Snugg o'the Pub, more rightly).  Ta!

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