{To be read in your 'hooty-tootiest' British accent. Be Royal and Elegant and somewhat Upper-Crusty.}
by Nessie the Monster, Duchess of Hagg
As I've said to you before, being a Royal Pooch has it's ups and downs. The downs are obvious. Just look at my staff! Really! My goodness, I have to put up with these Chamberlains who have really no work ethic and certainly no idea of the importance of their positions, let alone what is required of them in their service to me and to their country, The Mythical Land of Hagg. Honestly, there are times when I want to snap and do something totally unbecoming, I tell you. But me Mum paid many servants to educate me well in the subtleties of Royal decorum. I will not lower m'self to a commoner's level and begin to throw servants out of the Palace. I do wish the economy would pick up a wee bit so that I could hire more staff to sort of help with some of the chaos these two have caused me, but ... alas, I shall have to get through this w' what little we have. I must say that the woman whom we have working the kitchens, the house keeping and the gardening and transportation (oh dear, we do work her too hard) is quite a lucky find. She does rather manage to keep up the functioning of the Palace and keep these two immature Chamberlains on track. Rather a miracle, I'd say, on her part.
Lord Malcolm and Lady McKenzie! Just WHAT did you do?!? |
Admit to nothing, Malcolm. She cannot prove it was us. We do look innocent, don't we? |
On the other hand, the up side of being Royal Blood is that I can spend my time in service to the community. This, I believe, is the greatest calling in my privileged life. I celebrated my 9th birthday last December and on that very day I completed and passed my Therapy Dog exams. With my new license, I am able to visit hospitals and nursing homes and other wonderful places. My overworked guardian, of whom I referred earlier, is currently working on setting a weekly schedule for me. I wish to visit children and older people who can derive some joy out of my company. My first visit was to a local library, where I was engaged in the education of very young a determined readers. Reading is highly regarded by humans and I am happy to be able to help by giving them an opportunity to read aloud to me. I even join them enthusiastically by moaning and whimpering and rolling over on their wee books. I'm certain that I was an excellent help to them. I was so well received that I have been asked back to the same facility next month. I am happy to say that I can just fit this activity into my quite busy schedule. I do hope that the woman in charge of my schedule gets me into a hospital very soon. I think I would be quite excellent there also.
Alternately, I have recently engaged in another extremely fun activity. At some point, I decided to go to the dog club where those Chamberlains of mine spend most of their time. I wanted to see if I could catch them in the act shirking their responsibilities. But quite a strange thing happened while I was there. I was invited to use my unique talent to sniff out a situation some of the humans were having. It seems some one had left some bits of cheese in a box on the floor. But the box was scattered among several other boxes and the silly humans could not find where the cheese was located. As soon as they asked me, I was abliged to sniff it out for them. Of course, (and you know the saying), finder's -- keeper's. This happened several times that night. The humans kept loosing their cheese and I was called on to go and find it for them. I quite liked helping them out. I should like to do that again, sometime soon!
I am so glad to have been able to share some interesting points with you today. If you would like more information on Therapy Dogs, Inc., please visit their website. I encourage you to get out there and educate yourselves in all that interests you. The more you increase your knowledge of this world and how it functions, the better prepared you will be to help in any situation. I admonish all dogs to get out there and help in the community in which you live. You can be of great comfort to those in need and you can bring much joy to many simply by being your true self. You will grow ever more confidant and comfortable with your servants and their strange world, just by teaching your human handlers to understand and communicate. Keep your ears back and your tails up and get out there and enjoy your humans!
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