Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Finally! The Servants are Beginning to Speak Clearly!

{Note to Reader:  The following post is to be read with a very pomp0us, hooty-tooty, high and mighty British accent.  Think of a cross between Queen Elisabeth and Jonathan Hunt from Fox News.  It may help to picture them as you read, and I have provided links to help you with that.  All other notes to readers will be in smaller text and enclosed in brackets.}

Every little girl dreams of one day, becoming a Princess.  Those of us who have been blessed (some would say cursed) with this; the highest of social status, Blue Blood Royalty, know the realities of such honourable service to the small people of our most esteemed country. {For information on how to become a Princess, please watch this 4 minute video}.  

We vest ourselves with the garment of responsibility

Responsibility of a Duchess:
Do NOT divert your eyes from the prize.
We do not engage in Trivial Frivolity.

and walk always in the straight and narrow path of elegance and righteousness.  It is amazingly hard work, but we do our best to surround ourselves with top quality staff whom we call 'handlers' in Royal vernacular. As you can quite imagine, the running of any household goes only as smoothly as your best 'handler' and 'handlers' are hired by the Chamberlains.  You must also be aware that Chamberlains are few and far between these days.   The highest ranking Royalty get the choicest in this category.   As I am not a Queen

nor yet have I achieved my dream of becoming Princess........

{The reader may also choose to watch the entire video link for the above picture here}  

....(Yet I must insist, that there is still time), my Chamberlains are quite young and very inexperienced.  But with each passing year {pronounced: ey-aah'.  Sort of Jonathan Hunt style} the 'handlers' do get wiser and better.  This brings me to my main purpose in communicating with you.  It is, once again, time for the Royal Staff Reviews. After years {again, pronounced Jonathan-esc style: ey-aahs'}  and years of training, pleading, signaling, cajoling and yes, even begging; there is a member of my staff who is finally learning the skillful art of communication.

I began quite some time ago in asking all staff members ('handlers') to educate themselves in this area as Royal Blue Bloods do speak quite a different language; albeit a very universal one.  So one of my main 'handlers' has finally read a most important book called On Talking Terms With Dogs: Calming SignalsIt is written by the leading language expert in the world.  Her name is Turid Rugaas and, if I recall correctly, she is of Norwegian Royal Blood.  And even if I don't remember quite rightly, (I am an ageing Duchess you know) she certainly knows her language skills.  Her book is a wonderful tool and an easy read and is extremely helpful.  How wonderful to have members of my staff able to clearly communicate in my own language and to understand what it is that I am saying to them!  It is invigorating!  I feel so much more alive and refreshed!  I am absolutely confident that from now on, my 'handler' will understand when I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable, when I'm feeling stressed, when I'm feeling nervous and when I'm a wee bit frightened.  And on top of this, she has all ready proven that she has acquired the  knowledge and skills to communicate to me in such a way as to have a very calming effect.  She can quite control tense situations now, just by giving Calming Signals in my own language.  As a Duchess aspiring to become Princess, this is having a great effect on me.  I am overjoyed.  My Chamberlains have also noticed the difference in the household and are responding accordingly.  Who knew life could be so simple?

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